Last week, I went to my first aerial lesson in over three years. When the instructor asked if I had any injuries, I replied that I was 38.
“But no injuries?” she confirmed.
I shrugged. Technically speaking, age isn’t an injury but once you reach a certain point, it definitely becomes a liability. The way I see it, approaching 40 is about the same as being down a rotator cuff. She’ll understand that one day.
I don’t know how old my aerial instructor is, but she seems pretty young. Younger than me by at least a decade, I’d say. She may even be part of the demographic that cancelled skinny jeans, which is what I really want to talk about.
That’s right – skinny jeans are over! Gen Z said so and they did it in the most Gen Z way possible, by which I mean that they produced a series of scathing but vague TikToks that they lobbed at us like grenades in the dead of night. In fact, most of us didn’t even know our pants were under attack until we put down our Harry Potter books and saw the headlines on BuzzFeed.
If you are unaware of the skinny jeans ban, then you probably also don’t know about side parts. They’re out too. Gen Z has deemed them to be the modern-day equivalent of a combover.
I, for one, resent that comparison. My affinity to sweep left isn’t about hiding my faults so much as accentuating my assets. For decades, Tyra Banks hammered it into my head that everyone has a good side and now I’m being mocked for listening. Then again, I suppose than serves me right. America’s Next Top Model was on the air for 24 seasons and it will take at least as long to undo the damage.
In both cases, what bothers me most—what bothers most Millennials most—is that we didn’t notice anything was amiss. It’s not the jokes about our pants or our parts that hurt, so much as our collective obliviousness. The over 30 crowd has been putting on our jeans and blowing out our hair the same way for the past decade and we just assumed that we were safe—that frequenting fast-fashion chains and mid-range salons was a form of due diligence that would protect us from the style missteps of generations past.
Turns out, we were wrong. Not only are we woefully out of style, but we are also out of touch. Gen Z has been talking about us behind our back for years, making videos about us on a platform we barely understand. And we had no idea! We’re like the gift that just keeps giving, a walking, talking punchline that shows up day after day in our side-swept bangs and stretch denim.
When I think back on it, when I picture in my mind’s eye all the people in their early twenties that I interact with regularly, all I can see now are the middle parts and loose-fitting denim. It’s the same feeling as when I watched the Sixth Sense for the second time and realized how many signs I missed, how many clues I overlooked. But it’s not a ghost that haunts me. It’s the reflection of me and my husband as we stand fully clothed in front of a full-length mirror. I see old people.
Be that as it may, I don’t really need Gen Z to tell me that I’m old and in need of serious style help. The staff at Sephora already does that. Besides, I’m not in the habit of accepting criticism from people who themselves are in need of advice. Because middle parts do not, in fact, flatter every face and boyfriend jeans do not look effortlessly chic.
And you can trust me on that because I’m what the fashion world would consider a Triple Threat: I have premium lighting, one fully functioning eye and the quiet resignation of being middle aged. I have already lost the sheen of my youth and any semblance of manners when people are hurling insults at my finely-lined face. My hair, my skin, my legs—none of it looks like it used to and I have come to accept that it never will. So I can be trusted to evaluate a hair style within the context of the individual. I can be an impartial jury to the selective application of trends, an objective judge as to what flatters the face no matter the age.
And my verdict is that Gen Z doesn’t know what they’re talking about—or, even worse, maybe they do and they’re just messing with us. Much like in high school when you have that one naturally pretty “friend” who encourages you to take style risks, like wearing karate pants or giving yourself highlights with actual Clorox, Gen Z is probably just seeing how far they can push us, how far we will to go to appear young. They have to. They have TikTok accounts to keep up.
As for the jeans, I actually gave the new silhouette a try way before the TikTok teens started their crusade. I bought a very cool pair of boyfriend jeans from a boutique in Bucharest about a year ago. And I knew those pants were young and hip because they, like most items in that particular store, were $24.99. Teenagers might have a handle on the latest trends but they do not have cash. And that’s how I know for sure that I was onto something hot.
Anyway. I love those jeans and there was a brief period of time where I was willing to consider that maybe I should change it up for good. A widow’s peak may be preventing me from achieving the middle part, but there was no reason to deny myself cool pants. So off I went to the hippest place I could think of, which as a 38 year-old foreigner in Helsinki was a Diesel flagship store located between an IKEA and an ecological concept boutique that pumps the scent of moss out into the sidewalk via two industrial-sized humidifiers.
So I might not have been in the right place, is what I’m saying. But still, I tried. I tried every single pair of boxy, baggy, slouchy jeans that the staff was willing to bring me—which was all of them because that’s how fitting room attendants are when they’re working in a store for adults. But none of those jeans looked quite right and they weren’t all that comfortable either. Countless pairs later, I asked the clerk to bring me a pair of their “Slandy” cut just for comparison’s sake.
And that’s when I knew for sure that Gen Z might not be wrong, but they definitely aren’t right. Because putting those pants on felt like coming home. They might not work for every body, but they suit me and so many other women. I don’t care what Gen Z says, I will never say no to a pair of jeans that look like denim, but wears like leggings. Teenagers might not like my pants, but that’s OK. Because I love them. And I will keep them.
Anxiety levels have been high for a full year, which is why it is so fun to freak out about something as mundane as the side part or as basic as jeans. Because even though things in Finland and throughout Europe are not so rosy at the moment, I am optimistic that once the vaccine supply chain makes its way across the Atlantic in a few months, things will start to go back to normal for us to. And for me, normal means a side part + skinnies.
A friend told me this because I’m not even cool enough for TikTok and I was so confused. If skinny jeans are out, should I find my old wide leg jeans and Doc Martin boots from middle school??
Yes, actually, that is exactly what they are advocating for. Wide leg pants, combat boots and (YOU NKOW WHAT’S COMING) cropped tops! I look at the racks and I can hear my mother saying, “Everything comes back in style,” but it feels too soon. Never again would be too soon…
I don’t wear skinny jeans, because they don’t flatter me. I’m glad they’re on the outs, but I think high waisted pants/jeans, etc. also look ridiculous on most people. Each person should wear what flatters their individual body. But I’m 38 and clearly uncool, so what do I know. I wear what I want and have been for years and am not going to change now.
I agree! I know skinny jeans don’t suit every body. No pants would. I think it’s important to dress according to body type. Also, there’s a difference between wearing trends and having style. I think it’s possible to be stylish without being trendy. Or at least I hope so.
I am way way past the point where style even matters, as long as I can cover stuff and bend over without making painful sounds. I agree. What looks good on YOU is what works.
Trendy means by next month you will have a closet full of stuff “NO one will wear, everrrr” .
And when you glide past a certain point in life, you get to call your own shots.
But you knew that.
Style is not what you wear, but how you wear it.
Yes totally agree! Skinny jeans are not universally flattering. And to repeat my below reply: you can be stylish without touching a single trend. Do you! But also, consider doing TikTok, because it really is hilarious.
Early 2019 I realized all the weight I lost made my current wardrobe look homeless (not an ideal look) so I went shopping…. what was hot? Skinny GD jeans and slacks (or giant legged ones–HATE giant legged pants). I liked the skinnies in youth but now that I’m older, I’m not a fan. They “stick” to my knees and feel like they are pulling down all day. Early 2020 I’m like gotta go shopping and replace these stupid skinny legged things. But then they told us to go home and not come back out, so here it is a year later and I still have those stupid skinny legged things. I’m being told we’re not returning to work until July or August, so I procrastinate some more (hate skinny jeans but hate shopping more). Shorts weather is coming up. I would never wear them to work, but when work in in the kitchen, it’s all good.
Anyway, you Nova, rock the skinny jean look and one assumes your knees don’t feel molested after a day of wearing them.
Also… I spent my pandemic getting my stick straight hair to do a side part so WTH??!! My hair dresser has been after me to ditch the middle part for years.
To heck with these young whippersnappers, I’m doing what I like.
I can understand not wanting to shop… I don’t hate it by any means but as I get older I realize I don’t want to waste time looking around. In & Out. That’s how I ended up at a Diesel. They have a billion pairs of jeans, surely I will find one that works! And then I bought two so that I didn’t have to do this agin for at least another year.
Anyway, I hope you find your pants that feel like home. Because it really it great to have a thing that always makes you feel shit together as soon as you put it on. And you don’t need my permission, but I’m keeping my side part too. In solidarity.
I saw a DIFFERENT Tiktok video made be a psychologist that was against the middle part for very scientific reasons. She went on to explain that because people’s faces are symmetrical, people that look good with centre parts look good DESPITE of it, not because of it. The side part actually makes your face look more symmetrical because of it’s own asymmetry. The centre part, in comparison, is more like to make the asymmetry of your face more obvious.
Anyway, her passion for the subject made me laugh – probably because I am a millenial that tried the centre part and it just made my hair look weird, straight, and greasy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
OK so I didn’t see that but I totally agree! I even had in the earlier draft that most people don’t have symmetrical faces and therefore would benefit from a side part and (in my case, glasses). I have my own theory which is that young people tend to have more symmetrical features so the middle part looks better one them. but, because people don’t age evenly, over time the middle part comes to look less and less appealing. i have no evidence to back this up, but my experience is that collagen leaks at a different rate from different places. My eyes, in particular, look like a before & after picture for some kind of new miracle filler. They were always a little uneven, but now it is just WAY more obvious.
Anyway – fascinating! Thank you for sharing.
what they don’t tell you is that someone who has a long narrow face, or a long(er) nose, is going to look dreadful with a center part. It looks better on women with round faces, or pixie nosed darlings. None of which greet me in the morning.
“I will never say no to a pair of jeans that look like denim, but wears like leggings.” That is a statement I live by.
Wide legged jeans were the thing when I was in High School. They didn’t flatter my wide hipped/short legged/small waist frame. I always felt dumpy in them. Of course I would! One pair of jeans could double my weight! And they stretched out and lost shape over the day in places they were supposed to fit, so that by the end of school I was wearing this shapeless, bulky mass that chafed and bulged out in weird places around my mid-section. That’s why oversized sweatshirts were a thing as well, to hide the fact that we were wearing industrial weight canvas twill that was made for cow handling. It was not a good look. Just … no.
Nevertheless, San Francisco riding jeans were my go-to. I remember there being so much heavy denim in my life the dryer could only handle one pair per 40 minute cycle. And if you forgot and left them in the dryer, you had to start over or you’d have semi-permanent denim wrinkles. Ever try to iron out denim wrinkles? Nobody has time for that.
All accurate! And I too was in high school during the JNCO years. Except I wore a uniform, which was a total drag at the time but now seems like such a blessing. We were all in the same acrylic sweaters and wool kilts and it was impossible for anyone to look cool. In fact, the harder you tried to stand out, the worse it got. Sigh.
I also remember “real” jeans, i.e. heavy denim. I was not into that. I think my love of skinny jeans isn’t even about the silhouette so much as the fabric. It’s not real denim! It’s like some poly-cotton-stretch-pant. And I get why some people don’t like them, but they just work for me. To each their own… except for anyone who wears JNCOs in 2021. They’re asking for it. (I actually just googled them to see if they’re still in business and it appears they are not. Also, interestingly enough their name stands for Judge None Choose One… ummmmmmm, DISAGREE.)
Aerial, Nova?! Wow! I know the post is about skinny jeans and side parts being out, but how I admire your adventurous nature. Kudos to you!
I want to know more about the aerial because I’m not changing my part even if it means I look old. My mom told me when I was in middle school that parting my hair down the middle made my nose look like a ski-slope. Can’t win.
Good luck with your aerial lessons!
haha! YES. I did aerial for maybe 3 years or so when i was living in new york. when i started traveling i didn’t keep it up because it would have been a real hassle to find a new studio every couple of weeks. i wasn’t able to find a place to train in munich when i lived there but now that i’m settled in helsinki i figured it was finally time to get back to it. i’ve had two lessons now and while so many of the movements have come back very naturally, my strength is not where it used to be. so i think the road back will be long and hard… but not nearly as difficult as the first time around. it’s really fun and i love doing it. but i will say that i forget how much it hurts, at least at first. all those wraps and binds – OUCH. silk burn – OUCH. hopefully i’ll toughen back up too.
anyway. enjoy your jeans and part, however you wear them. do you. xx
I’ve been through this enough enough times to know that sometimes- often – the fashion looks stupid and bad. Stupid denim is stupid. Nobody looks good in stupid denim. Cigarette pants have looked amazing since the 1950s. The one thing from the 90s that I’m thrilled is coming back is bootcut jeans – that makes everyone’s legs look amazing. (So long as the waistband isn’t that 90s so-low thing that only 3 people could pull off.)
Middle parts rarely actually look good. It’s pretty exclusively an “in” thing rather than actually flattering one’s face.
But I do like about Gen Z that they are ditching a lot of gender norms and not worrying about being pretty, which is refreshing. It’s still conformity, but that’s what humans do. They’re pushing the needle in a good direction.
hi there – thank so you so much for this comment and the others. i hadn’t logged into my dashboard in a while and didn’t realize i had comments pending. in any case, i agree with you. a cigarette pant is a great style for a lot of bodies, as are boot cut. i prefer the former to the latter, but i can still appreciate both. and i agree that Gen Z – despite their questionable fashion choices (in my opinion) – are impressive. “kids today” has become a compliment. time and again they prove that they have more authenticity, ethicality, maturity and critical thinking than people decades their senior. good on them. (but ditch the pants)