On Day 6 of the safari, our group finally had an up close and personal wildlife encounter. This in the form of a dung beetle that breezed through an open window and crawled down the aisle of our tour bus.
Or at least that’s what I was told happened. I couldn’t see for myself on account of my seat-mate, a grown man, pinning me against a window as he tried to put more distance between him and whatever it was that was inching its way towards our seat.
“What is it?” I asked, trying to peek around him.
“IT’S A SCORPION!” he answered.
“It’s a beetle,” the man in front of him corrected, shaking his head.
Either way, I wasn’t too impressed. I tapped my seat mate on the shoulder.
“Your ass is in my face,” I said.
“Oh, sorry,” he replied, sitting down not in the empty seat next to me, but directly in my lap.
“Look at yourself,” I said a few seconds later. “You’re sitting in my lap!”
He moved ever so slightly toward the empty seat, all while keeping a careful eye on another English gentleman who was now holding the bug and preparing to throw it out the window.
“You’re still sitting on me,” I complained.
“Well I have to!” my seat-mate insisted. “I’m protecting you!!”
Miss America may be a lot of things, but she’s not afraid of some little scorpeetle.
Shortly after that episode, our group actually did see some animals. Real ones. Elephants, giraffe, zebras, buffalo, hippos, and a king-sized black mamba* that we supposedly almost ran over with our safari jeep. It was an exciting day.
*My travel companions have pointed out that no one in our group, aside from our guide, actually saw the black mamba. Perhaps yet another case of suggestive sighting.
Zebras. They do exist.
And that’s where I’ll leave Safari Week: On a high note.
In all, the trip was a good one. I saw some cool animals. Met some awesome people. Watched a few amazing sunsets. Nearly fell out of a boat or two. You know, about what one might expect when taking an eight-day overland journey through southern Africa.
There were ups and downs, of course, but in the end, I’m glad I went. Though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to others and I certainly don’t plan to do again. Or at least, not the same way.
Advice I needed yesterday: Go the glamping route.
Live and learn, I guess. And try to make the best of it in the mean time.
Bonus! Here are some photos from my time in South Africa, Botswana, Namibia and Zimbabwe that didn’t make the cut on Facebook and Instagram. Enjoy!
E-mail subscribers, visit my post on www.adviceineeded.com to view the slide show.