On Day 6 of the safari, our group finally had an up close and personal wildlife encounter. This in the form of a dung beetle that breezed through an open window and crawled down the aisle of our tour bus.
Or at least that’s what I was told happened. I couldn’t see for myself on account of my seat-mate, a grown man, pinning me against a window as he tried to put more distance between him and whatever it was that was inching its way towards our seat.
“What is it?” I asked, trying to peek around him.
“IT’S A SCORPION!” he answered.
“It’s a beetle,” the man in front of him corrected, shaking his head.
Either way, I wasn’t too impressed. I tapped my seat mate on the shoulder.
“Your ass is in my face,” I said.
“Oh, sorry,” he replied, sitting down not in the empty seat next to me, but directly in my lap.
“Look at yourself,” I said a few seconds later. “You’re sitting in my lap!”
He moved ever so slightly toward the empty seat, all while keeping a careful eye on another English gentleman who was now holding the bug and preparing to throw it out the window.
“You’re still sitting on me,” I complained.
“Well I have to!” my seat-mate insisted. “I’m protecting you!!”
Miss America may be a lot of things, but she’s not afraid of some little scorpeetle.
***
Shortly after that episode, our group actually did see some animals. Real ones. Elephants, giraffe, zebras, buffalo, hippos, and a king-sized black mamba* that we supposedly almost ran over with our safari jeep. It was an exciting day.
Finally.
*My travel companions have pointed out that no one in our group, aside from our guide, actually saw the black mamba. Perhaps yet another case of suggestive sighting.
***
Zebras. They do exist.
***
And that’s where I’ll leave Safari Week: On a high note.
In all, the trip was a good one. I saw some cool animals. Met some awesome people. Watched a few amazing sunsets. Nearly fell out of a boat or two. You know, about what one might expect when taking an eight-day overland journey through southern Africa.
There were ups and downs, of course, but in the end, I’m glad I went. Though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to others and I certainly don’t plan to do again. Or at least, not the same way.
Advice I needed yesterday: Go the glamping route.
Live and learn, I guess. And try to make the best of it in the mean time.
***
Bonus! Here are some photos from my time in South Africa, Botswana, Namibia and Zimbabwe that didn’t make the cut on Facebook and Instagram. Enjoy!
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E-mail subscribers, visit my post on www.adviceineeded.com to view the slide show.