Yesterday I began my U.S. tax return. It’s a task that I dread so much that every year I pay the IRS $50 plus interest just to be able to put it off for another 90 days.
What made this year’s filing at least somewhat bearable was typing in my total earnings for my first full year as a freelance writer. It’s a number that continues to take me by surprise, even though I’ve seen it before and know what’s coming.
That’s not a brag about me, so much as a reminder for you: Corporate America will always underestimate what you’re worth.
Later in the day, to celebrate the outset of my U.S. tax journey, Valtteri and I went to lunch. When our sushi bowls arrived, the waitress gave us each two napkins. I only used one so at the end of my meal I put the other in my purse. In my defense, they were pretty nice napkins – the soft, thick kind that almost feel like cloth.
Valtteri, full of snark and sushi, pointed out that his extra napkin was still under his plate and hadn’t been used. Did I want it, he asked, as though we had never met before. By way of response, I yanked the napkin from under his bowl with the flourish of a magician who was performing her final act. Then, without any further fanfare, I put the napkin in my purse.
This whole thing seemed to disgust Valtteri more than amuse. I’m not sure why. Between the two of us, he’s the one who uses more napkins.
“I’m just surprised is all,” he explained. “That a person of your stature has to be stealing napkins.”
“I’m not stealing,” I corrected him. “They were given to me. As part of the service.”
He nodded. “Yes, they’re like a gift.”
“Look,” I sniffed. “They gave me two napkins. What I do with them is my business.”
Valtteri held up both hands. “Enjoy it,” he said. “Enjoy mine too.” Then, in a last ditch effort to prove his point, he picked up the paper sleeve that his disposable chopsticks had come in. “Would you like this?” he offered. “You can put a pen in it to protect your purse from ink stains.”
I rolled my eyes. “A pen? In 2021?” I countered. “What do you think I am, a peasant?”
Oh, Valtteri! I’m always glad I’ve taken the extra napkins. They always come in handy. The chopstick sleeve idea is a good one. Maybe a decade late, but still …
me too. that’s a rule, actually. always take the extra napkins. not even joking, a week later i used that napkin in an emergency situation to pick up a small dog poop when we ran out of bags. because the napkin was of such high quality, it was possible. i rest my case.