First-year Freelance

On September 13, I celebrated my first anniversary as a full-time freelancer.

For those of you following along, that date might leave you scratching your head and checking my math. After all, how could I bank a year in the self-employment world when I was laid off only in January?

Well there’s a simple explanation for that: I got laid off twice.

Yes! It’s true. Hank, in full Hank fashion, first gave me the pink slip in September of last year. Seeing as how he planned to let the rest of the team go right along with me, he had no one to consult with during the layoff process, which was a problem in that Hank relied on at least one of us to tell him how to do most things. I’m not going to get too into the details, but let’s just say HR was even more surprised by my layoff than I was. Rather than just admit that a mistake was made, Hank half-heartedly tried to patch things up, all while trying to convince me that I made the whole thing up.

Long story short, Hank be hanking, and once I learned what he had cooking, I started making plans of my own. I made my mind up that I was leaving that very day, even as Hank changed his.

I will admit that last September I wasn’t quite ready to see the humor in the situation. The absurdity, yes, but I had far too many practical concerns to deal with before I could get around to laughing.

On the plus side, I had the good fortune of getting laid off in Germany, which gave me a bit more of a runway to get my life together. At the same time, my residence and work permits disappeared with my job, which left me scrambling to find another way to live and work in Europe. Rather than try to find a new job, which would be quite challenging on account of my limited language skills and a basic unwillingness to deal with a new Hank, I put together a business plan based on the freelance jobs I had done in years past, plus a few others that came in once Hank pulled the plug. Then I applied for Finnish residence on the grounds of entrepreneurship. That application was approved back in June, at which point my little business, which has since been officially branded as Little Word Co., wasn’t just surviving as I hoped it would, but outright thriving.

Sometimes I think about reaching out to Hank just to let him know that I landed on my feet. But I never go through with it. I have a feeling that he knows… and that he knew I would all along.

As I close out this first year as a freelancer, I thought it was worth writing a post dedicated to the fears I had at the outset, the lessons I learned along the way and what I like most about this new line of work. If you’re considering such a move yourself or have a feeling that you’re going to be forced into the market sometime soon, I hope you find some inspiration in these words. Because if you’re hanking your way through the day, I am here to tell you that it really is better on the other side.

Going freelance will always be a leap of faith

Even though I had been freelancing on the side for several months prior to my layoff, I hesitated to go full time for a number of practical reasons, the most notable being job security. First of all, ha! The irony of sticking with a 9-to-5 for safety’s sake only to get laid off in a foreign country is not lost on me.

But for me, job security wasn’t just a paycheck. It was also a visa. So before I was ready to walk away from Hank, I needed to figure out my finances and the logistics of living abroad. This, by the way, was a daunting task and I convinced myself that I wasn’t ready for either part, which is why I stuck with Hank even after Beverly came to town and ruined the good thing we had going.

Don’t get me wrong. I tried to reason myself into a change—many a time, in fact. About two months after Bev came on the scene, I wrote myself a list of things I would need before I could walk out: the number of clients I wanted to have, the monthly income I wanted to earn, the pipeline I wanted to set up. The thing was, even as I met those markers from one month to the next, I kept moving the goal posts. Two active clients became three, became four. Half my salary became two-thirds became 100%. Over time, I convinced myself that the only way I could leave was when I had a retainer in place with one or more clients—which I secured just as Hank laid me off the first time.

The bottom line here is that I was scared to move on and, in some ways, that fear was well-founded. It’s a tough world out there, especially since I wanted to live in one of the more expensive parts. But sometimes I wish that I took that leap of faith if only because it would have felt better than getting a push into the abyss. Now that it’s worked out in my favor, I resent that the story of my foray into entrepreneurship will always be told on someone else’s terms. But I guess that’s not much to complain about in the grand scheme of things.

The thing I realize now, after Hank and I parted ways and I got the word out to my network, is that it’s sort of impossible to build a full-time business while you have a full-time job. I was getting side projects when I had a side hustle, but once I made the transition to full-scale freelance, the flood gates opened. People passed along recommendations and referrals. They made introductions and shared opportunities. My name got around in a way that it didn’t before, probably because my core network didn’t think I had the bandwidth to handle more when I was holding a 9-to-5. Now that I had more time, they seemed to bring me in more and spread me around too.

Long story short, if you’re making deals with yourself about what you need before you make a move, consider that any evidence of success you have with a side hustle will likely grow once you commit more time and resources. I certainly understand the need to play it safe, especially now, but you also need to be honest about your motivations. There’s a fine line between wanting security and just being scared.

No more Sunday Scaries

Hank and I got on fairly well for a few years, which is why we lasted as long as we did. When Beverly came along, it was a different story. Suddenly I was operating on my old terms: immediate responses, constant availability, non-stop revisions. She was dismissive and condescending about my skills while also claiming that she needed my help urgently and constantly.

Getting laid off was scary and stressful in its own way. But by the end of my tenure at my last job, so was every Sunday night. I braced myself every time I checked my phone because Beverly would call or text at any time, day or night. I never got a break until we broke it off.

Now, even though I spent an inordinate amount of time and attention getting my business off the ground over the past year, none of it has felt scary. In fact, it was exciting to see what I could really do.

Insta-expert.

No not, an Instagram expert—I wish. If I made influencer status I wouldn’t need to freelance. But I digress.

What I noticed about being a freelancer is that most of the people I work with treat me like a high-value resource. The people who hire me trust me to do the job and set me up for success. The actual experts I work with, by and large, trust that I have a specialized skill at which I, too, am an expert. My work environment now is mostly one of mutual respect and consideration.

One of the things that made my layoff easier to swallow was that I was working on the side in a very similar capacity as my day job. And while I spent half my day being told by Beverly that I wasn’t qualified for my job, I was getting rave reviews by people who were paying me by the hour. I am so grateful for that aspect of the freelance experience. Even more than the financial stability, having those side hustles made me realize that I was capable of doing the job. Beverly just didn’t want me to—or at least not at the price point I was hired at.

You see the results right away.

I think of freelance life as happening at warp speed. People usually don’t call you when they have lots of time and low stakes. Rather, they bring in a freelancer when the core team just can’t cover it, be it because of timelines, skills or availability. In other words, they need help, usually right away.

The flip side of that is that you see results quickly too. Unlike working in-house when projects start and stall and flip a half dozen times, freelance work is usually much more cut and dry. You’re in and out, one and done.

Panning out, you don’t have to wait to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Unlike a traditional job where you have to lobby for a raise, bonus or promotion, in the freelance world, the success is all yours. If you do a job well and the client comes back, that’s your bonus. If you can charge more, that’s a raise. If you get asked to do higher level work, consider it a promotion. For most people, that direct correlation between performance and income, as well as the ability to do meaningful work is the most you can hope for in your career.

Freelance = Freedom & flexibility

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Most people who go freelance willingly do it because they want more freedom and flexibility in their work, their schedule and their life. I had plenty of that before, thanks to Hank’s leniency and willingness to measure me by my outcomes. Even still, I will say that freelance life has been a fantastic breath of fresh air. By and large, I plan my work around my life and not the other way around. What’s more, I don’t even have to ask permission. I get my hair done on a Monday. I take a day trip to Estonia on a whim. I leave for early happy hour when the sun is out. I work out in the middle of the day or take a Real Housewives break when I need to. While I always try to accommodate my clients, I also respect my own interests and needs. I don’t plan to go back to a traditional 9-to-5, but if I did, it would be a real struggle to revert to thinking in terms of work weeks and office hours.

Caveats

Any good list will come with some caveats and this one is no exception. Mine are as follows:

  1. I don’t have children. Obviously, I have a level of flexibility in my schedule that most parents do not, and often cannot, have. Along the same lines, I only have to provide for myself (and to some extent my husband since we are now a package deal). Security and stability for me, as a party of one with a partner, is not as much of a concern as someone with dependents. I get that—as much as one without children can get it.
  2. I don’t have to pay for health insurance… sort of. I pay a very high tax rate in Finland, which puts a big dent in my income as compared to the States. At the same time, I have no added health care costs (unless I wish to purchase a supplemental plan)—that means no monthly contributions, no annual premium, no out of pocket costs and very low prescription/treatment costs. As an American, I realize that is not the same model. And while we don’t have to debate which system is better right now, I will say that to be a freelancer in the States and to pay for health care through a marketplace is a big expense. I don’t think my choice would be sustainable if I still lived in New York, even if I was earning more money.
  3. Speaking of—money! Most of you read all this just to find out if I make more money as a freelancer. The short answer is yes… technically. If you’re just looking at dollars and sense, then freelance seems like a much better deal. But if you consider the total package from your employer is usually calculated by multiplying your base salary by 1.3 (to account for employer benefits like health care, 401K, PTO, holidays, sick time, etc.) then it’s not quite as much of a win.  For me the point is that there are other things to consider besides money, like freedom, flexibility, creativity, choice, enjoyment and long-term growth prospects. But, if you only want to think in terms of dollars, then a traditional job still isn’t the way to go… because anyone who pays you is making money on you!
6 comments to “First-year Freelance”
    • thank you!! i agree – life is so much better when work is just something you do as opposed to a place you need to be for a set number of hours with no flexibility and not much control. i prefer this way so much better and here’s to hoping i can keep it going!

      (also switzerland… all of it. what a PLACE!)

  1. Excellent timing on this post Nova! I just let go of my own Hank to become a freelancer, and crazy news: Hank has become my first regular client. It turned out to be a better deal for both of us, and he didn’t want to let go of the benefit I brought to the company. COVID and remote working gave us both the insight to see how it could work to both our benefit. It is great to hear how you have dealt with it. I always wanted to take the step and it has turned out better than imagined. Yes, personal security was an issue that actually turned out to not be an issue thanks to the ACA. You have inspired me from the beginning to aspire to a better lifestyle. Thank you!

    • hiiii. that’s great! so happy for you! that was actually sort of how hank and i got our conventional relationship in the first place. i quit and offered to freelance for him but business rules prevented me from doing so (ex employees aren’t allowed to do contract work for one year after leaving the company) so i stayed on part time instead. it worked out… and it sounds like your plan is too! i wish you all the continued success as you enter this new chapter. I’ve personally found it so beneficial and energizing and i hope you do too. thank you for giving me props on being an inspiration… that’s high praise and honestly hard to believe. i’m humbled! xx

    • yes it is! i’m not sure why i waited so long to play on my terms. my life certainly turned around when i decided that i was going to call the shots. hope that’s a lesson that sticks with me. xx

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